Something occurred to me the other day: I’ve never been bitten by a horse.
Although I had never contemplated the ramifications of being bitten by a horse, or the ramifications of not being bitten by a horse, my life suddenly seemed vacant and purposeless.
Is it possible I’m missing out on something due to my lack of an equine chomping experience?
I sought out information from a blog post about raising horses and it seemed to indicate that you really don’t want to be bitten by a horse.
Note: If you ever need information or entertainment of any type, always go to a blog first; blogs are written by highly intelligent individuals with perpetually minty fresh breath.
I found the following phrase:
But, what starts as cute and innocent nibbling on a sleeve can evolve quickly into ripped clothing, crunched fingers, bruises and teeth marks. So if you have a young horse, don’t allow it to explore you with its mouth.
Note: I was considering making a joke here about a girl I once dated, but I just recently got the last lawsuit cleared up.
I may be overthinking this entire horse biting thing, and overthinking things is not an activity to which I am prone.
I was bitten by a dog once and I have to admit: it wasn’t as enjoyable as you might think. I would even go as far as saying it was unpleasant.
I was almost bitten by a goat once. The goat didn’t actually come near me, but he a look of no-good in his eyes. It was unsettling.
I’m beginning to think I should put off any attempt to be bitten by a horse.
If through the course of a normal day’s activities I should happen to be bitten by horse, then fine, but for now, I won’t go looking for it.
I will keep you updated.
Mr. Ed: his comments are biting.