To Be or Not to Be–Bitten by a Horse

23 Feb 2018

To Be or Not to Be–Bitten by a Horse

Something occurred to me the other day: I’ve never been bitten by a horse.

Although I had never contemplated the ramifications of being bitten by a horse, or the ramifications of not being bitten by a horse, my life suddenly seemed vacant and purposeless.

Is it possible I’m missing out on something due to my lack of an equine chomping experience?

I sought out information from a blog post about raising horses and it seemed to indicate that you really don’t want to be bitten by a horse.

Note: If you ever need information or entertainment of any type, always go to a blog first; blogs are written by highly intelligent individuals with perpetually minty fresh breath.

I found the following phrase:

But, what starts as cute and innocent nibbling on a sleeve can evolve quickly into ripped clothing, crunched fingers, bruises and teeth marks. So if you have a young horse, don’t allow it to explore you with its mouth.

Interesting advice.

Note: I was considering making a joke here about a girl I once dated, but I just recently got the last lawsuit cleared up.

I may be overthinking this entire horse biting thing, and overthinking things is not an activity to which I am prone.

I was bitten by a dog once and I have to admit: it wasn’t as enjoyable as you might think. I would even go as far as saying it was unpleasant.

I was almost bitten by a goat once. The goat didn’t actually come near me, but he a look of no-good in his eyes. It was unsettling.

I’m beginning to think I should put off any attempt to be bitten by a horse.

If through the course of a normal day’s activities I should happen to be bitten by horse, then fine, but for now, I won’t go looking for it.

I will keep you updated.

Mr. Ed: his comments are biting.

Posted in funny, Humor, inspirational and tagged animal bite, blogs, comedy, funny, Horse, humor, humour, idiocy, idiot, satire

10 thoughts on “To Be or Not to Be–Bitten by a Horse”

Carl D'Agostino on February 23, 2018 at 6:20 am said:

At least you can see the horse but no chance against a flea. With all those animals Noah surely had more than 2 on that ark thing.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- Red Panda on February 23, 2018 at 11:16 am said:
  
  But if you lead a flea to water, he will drink.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Linda Vernon on February 22, 2018 at 1:28 pm said:

Well, I have been bitten by a horse . . . Hard! It made me so mad I socked it in the face and sold it.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- Red Panda on February 22, 2018 at 1:58 pm said:
  
  Like Mongo from Blazing Saddles.
  
  LikeLike
  
  Reply ↓
Biff Sock Pow on February 22, 2018 at 10:58 am said:

Isn’t that what usually causes one to become a were-horse? Or maybe I watched too many low-budget horror movies when I was a kid. I must admit, there is a certain attraction to the concept of a were-goat.

LikeLike

Reply ↓
- Red Panda on February 22, 2018 at 11:29 am said:
  
  Were-goats are all too real; I have several aunts that are were-goats, and a few that are just ugly.
  
  LikeLiked by 1 person
  
  Reply ↓
  - Biff Sock Pow on February 23, 2018 at 4:23 pm said:
    
    Just regular goats are ornery enough! I can’t imagine a were-goat. It’s like ornery on top of ornery, wrapped in ornery.
    
    LikeLiked by 1 person
    
    Reply ↓
    - Red Panda on February 25, 2018 at 9:33 am said:
      
      I’m sensing you think goats are ornery,
      
      LikeLiked by 1 person
      
      Reply ↓
      - Biff Sock Pow on February 25, 2018 at 10:43 pm said:
        
        I am hesitant to say. I don’t want them coming after me!
        
        LikeLike
        
        Reply ↓
        
        Red Panda on February 26, 2018 at 9:01 am said:
        
        Wise.
        
        LikeLiked by 1 person
        
        Reply ↓

idiotpruf

The blog that prevents scurvy…as long as you eat orange slices while you read it.