Philadelphia: This is Why You Can’t Have Nice Things
A few weeks ago I implored the fans of the Philadelphia Eagles to stop celebrating Eagles’ victories by punching police horses.
Good news: The Eagles won the Super Bowl and nobody punched a police horse!
However, one exuberant Eagles fan celebrated by eating horse excrement.
Stop and let that sink in for a moment.
Randall Cunningham must be so proud his jersey is being worn by such a stalwart of humanity.
I apologize heartily for the next photograph.
Look how happy everyone is.
This made me consider the manner in which I might celebrate a joyous occasion. So I made a list; eating horse excrement off the ground ranked 11,987,344th out of 11,987,345.
Using a nail gun to attach my testicles to a telephone pole was the only thing that ranked below it.
Hey Philadelphia: this is why you can’t have nice things.
idiotpruf 
I’m not a male but I can guess from how my hubby screams when I kick him in the testicles that it should should rank 1st. The Horse poop is only “Hay & Oats”, served warm! Quit being a woose!
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If you think horse poop is just hay and oats served served warm, I’d hate to see what you put in oatmeal.
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lol..
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How do you find this stuff?
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It finds me.
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To be fair, the only reason they didn’t punch police horses is that none were available; instead, they were tipping police cars and riding a police van. The footage is glorious yet stupid.
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There’s never a police horse around when you want to punch one. At least the horse was considerate enough to leave the pile of horse crap for any peckish Eagles’ fans.
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