The Children of the Corn–all grown up.
Horse chigger bites itch like crazy.
The way Steve is always referring to his beard as “The Babe Magnet.”
Weird Al Yankovic doing his best impression of Steve.
They can never remember their lines.
How they turn everything you say into something risqué by punctuating it with, “’tis what she sayeth.”
The way they laugh hysterically after they intentionally lead you through a pile of horse crap.
The Amish have no idea how to make a good martini.
Sick of hearing Amish guys use the same tired pick-up line: hey baby, doth thee need your butter churned.
The way goats smell when they’re wet.
The way goats smell when they’re dry.
Those smart-ass cameramen from Jersey Shore, sarcastically griping about how hard it was filming babes in bikinis on the beach.
The way their body oil gets in all the equipment (sorry, also from Jersey Shore).
The way Levi’s always parading around in nothing but his “Home of a Barn-Raising“ boxer shorts.
What it would’ve looked like if Al Capone had been from rural Pennsylvania instead of Chicago…and if he’d been fictional.
It gets tiresome constantly having to fight off territorial crows every time you break for lunch.
They’re constantly rambling on about their favorite movie, Witness.
The way they all giggle uncontrollably every time someone says they’re from Intercourse.
I wonder what the school mascot is?