I Apologize for this Post in Advance
A Tokyo-based eatery opened last month with the house specialty of “poo-flavored curry.”
Not poo-flavored as in Winnie the Pooh, because that would just be weird. They’re serving feces-flavored curry.
I know! What the hell is going on?
To be fair, the dish doesn’t contain any actual feces, just natural ingredients like green tea, bitter gourd, and cocoa powder that, when combined, looks and tastes similar to human defecation.
When asked how they know the curry tastes similar to human defecation, one of the waitstaff just hung his head and muttered that he was bitterly underpaid.
To enhance the illusion, the crap-flavored curry is served in a porcelain bowl meant to resemble a bedpan — yeah that’s it.
Evidently the poo-flavored curry is the brainchild of executive chef Ken Shimizu, who designed the dish to remind people of his other line of work: as a male porn actor who has…wait for it…eaten feces in some of his films.
Seriously, what the hell is going on?
Note: I for one am astounded that no one has previously tried to combine fine dining with fetish-porn. The two go together like…there is no way to finish the sentence that isn’t unusable…horrifyingly unusable.
Unfortunately for Ken (How many different ways could this sentence end?) his restaurant’s own market research has determined 85 percent of people would never order the dish based on the description of the meal.
A quick question to the other 15 percent: What The Hell Is Going On?
Reportedly one customer couldn’t stomach the meal and vomited into his bowl, immediately giving Ken an idea for a new dish.
Final note: I made-up that last part, but you believed it didn’t you? Again: my apologies.