A Few Thoughts About Smuggling Horse Genitals
You may have seen an odd story in the news a few weeks ago. A story about pair of women caught trying to smuggle 13 pounds of horse genitals into the country.
Two immediate thoughts leapt into my head.
- When you’ve been caught smuggling 13 pounds of horse genitals, you’ve likely taken a few missteps down the path of life. Weird irrevocable missteps.
- Your high school guidance counselor has failed you miserably.
The two women were carrying 13 pounds of horse genitals and three liters of yak milk.
Note: if I’ve learned anything from Martha Stewart, it’s that it is a major faux pas to serve horse genitals without the proper pairing of yak milk. You can also use a lighter bodied Zinfandel in a pinch.
One of the women claimed the genitals were needed for medicinal purposes.
Evidently smuggling 13 pounds of horse genitals is a cure for not being creepy.
Horsemeat is prohibited from entering the U.S. if it’s not accompanied by an official government horsemeat certification from the country it came from.
Note: am I the only person that finds it odd that ‘an official government horsemeat certification’ is a thing?
A Customs and Border Protection officer, a Mr. Ed, summed up the incident, “it was all just so horrifying.”