idiotprufs

what the hell else are you gonna do with your time?

Archive for the tag “truth”

Not talking to each other key to resolving marital conflicts — The Bald Beagle

Calling each other “irrational” and “annoying,” potato farmer Tom Bruise and his wife Lucy quickly resolved all marital conflicts by not talking to each other. “It totally works,” said Bruise. “Ever since we resolved to shut our respective traps, I’ve been angrily washing the dishes while she texts her friends, and we get along just […]

via Not talking to each other key to resolving marital conflicts — The Bald Beagle

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We’ll Let You Know

hanging help wanted sign

The following is an actual conversation I had with a man who was dropping off his resume at a place where I used to work.

Man: Is there someone here that I can talk to about a job?

Me: The plant manager does the hiring, but he isn’t here today.

Man: So I can’t talk to anyone today?

Me: Sorry.

Man: (visibly upset) But I made sure not to smoke crack today.

Me: That’s very conscientious of you; I’ll add a note to your resume specifying that you made sure not to smoke crack today.

Man: (pointing an accusatory finger at me) You better not be lying to me.

Me: Trust me, writing that note will be a genuine pleasure.

Man: Just make sure you do it.

As a man of truth and integrity: I wrote that note and firmly attached it to the front of that man’s resume.

He wasn’t even considered for the position; does honesty count for nothing anymore?

rejection from job

Unfortunately, we’d already filled our quota of habitual drug users.

City Council Chambers to add Boxing Ring — gooferie

Following a recent near dust-up between City Councilman Mel Witherspoon and a citizen, Erie City Council held an emergency session and voted 6-0, with one abstention, to add a regulation size boxing ring to council chambers. To make room for the ring, council will be removing 30 seats which are never occupied anyway for meetings. […]

via City Council Chambers to add Boxing Ring — gooferie

Man Drives Speed Limit On Bayfront Highway — gooferie

Local drivers were frustrated today as they were stuck behind a man driving the posted speed limit of 35mph on the Bayfront Parkway. “I was stuck behind him all the way from State Street to West 8th” complained motorist Andrew Scott of Millcreek. “I could have been home 15 seconds sooner if not for him.” […]

via Man Drives Speed Limit On Bayfront Highway — gooferie

I’m Just Saying

Every parent believes their child is an adorable, angelic, bundle of perfection.

brat

Some of you are horribly mistaken!

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