The following is an actual conversation I had with a man who was dropping off his resume at a place where I used to work.
Man: Is there someone here that I can talk to about a job?
Me: The plant manager does the hiring, but he isn’t here today.
Man: So I can’t talk to anyone today?
Man: (visibly upset) But I made sure not to smoke crack today.
Me: That’s very conscientious of you; I’ll add a note to your resume specifying that you made sure not to smoke crack today.
Man: (pointing an accusatory finger at me) You better not be lying to me.
Me: Trust me, writing that note will be a genuine pleasure.
Man: Just make sure you do it.