idiotprufs

what the hell else are you gonna do with your time?

Archive for the tag “search term”

You Found What on Your What Now?

The following search engine terms cropped up on my stats page:

why does mySo it seems there is someone out there with a problem. I have few points to make. (And yes, I’m going to ignore the “sexy man riding a unicorn images” addition to this list, it horrifies me.)

  • If I were suffering from this particular malady, and in a dire search for answers, a blog entitled idiotprufs is not blog that I would choose for answers.
  • I can write with a certain degree of certainty, this blog was absolutely no help at all to the person in question.
  • I know what your thinking: but isn’t laughter the best medicine? No it is not. There are several occasions when medicine is the best medicine: a gunshot wound to the head, a pick-ax in the eyeball, a paper-cut in that v-shaped space in-between your fingers (seriously, that hurts), and when you have weird and alarming protrusions on your dangle.

However, after a great deal of soul-searching (watching several episodes of The Rockford Files on Netflix) I came to a conclusion: why shouldn’t I be able to help?

After doing exhaustive research, (mostly googling weird penis problems) conferring with a myriad of professionals, (friends who I thought would get a good chuckle out of weird penis problems) and pondering all the possibilities, I decided that I could be of assistance.

The Question:

Why does it look like my penis has bug bites on the bottom of it?

The Answer:

You have probably put your penis somewhere you shouldn’t have.

The Solution:

Stop doing that.

Life really is simple if you want it to be.

If should happen to try this search term, don't click on images. Just don't do it.

If you should happen to try this search term, don’t click on images. Just don’t do it.

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Fat Hairy Hillbillies: Even More Weird Search Terms

search, idiotprufsIt’s time for another edition of weird search terms.

As always, these are all search terms exactly as they appear on my stats page.

fat hairy hillbillies   I’m just relieved the word nude wasn’t included in this search term.

gator boots for job interviews  The reason I didn’t get that job with PETA–and why I got banned from their building.

confused idiot  I wasn’t confused, the gator boots were a fashion choice.

interview idiots job  I didn’t get the job, you don’t have to rub it in.

high ronald mcdonald  Why I was fired from McDonalds.

what happens when rats eat mcdonalds  Those rats were real? I thought it was a hallucination.

chigger bites on testicles embarrassing story  Is it embarrassing for you, or for the chigger?

how to clean and stretch a raccoon  Finally someone is addressing this?

very very surprised animal  I’ll bet it was.

hatred of racoons  Maybe if you stopped stretching them, your relations with them would improve.

kissing hand raccoon coloring page  Rabies shots are fun for kids.

saw amish guy buying whole dead racoons  So much for raccoon Glasnost, who would do such a thing?

amish mafia  Enough said.

lyrics beer forklift  The worst polka song ever.

don gay bullridieng with band the rodeo clown  The worst country song ever.

stressed out stick people  You’d be stressed out too, if you had no discernible genitals

the little mermaid is a idiot  That should read: an idiot. Who’s the idiot now?

Bigfoot’s an idiot  Do you only pick on mythological creatures?

Justin Beiber does idiotic things  Still mythological.

tatoo idiocy  Seriously, he lived on Fantasy Island, why didn’t he just ask to be taller?

Tattoo from Fantasy Island

Come on Mr. Roarke, do a guy a favor.

punch an idiot in the face day  This isn’t a real thing, but it really ought to be.

throwing shit on a idiot  Now that’s going too far.

my idiot neighbor  But maybe not.

idiot names for garden gnomes  Now you have me convinced.

klingon word for sorry  There is no Klingon word for sorry, but there are 58 ways to say: still a virgin.

idiot klingon  I would say I’m sorry, but there’s no word for it.

hiccup erection It’s the last time I take Viagra to get rid of hiccups.

penis hysterical  It is a little funny.

can your esophagus explode  I wouldn’t have thought so, but then again I didn’t know anything about the hiccup erections either.

kermit the frog lady gaga  Hollywood’s new power couple.

lady gaga’s costume designer  Disapproves of her relationship with Kermit.

lady gaga, kermit the frog

Hi-Ho, I’m Kermit The Frog–help me please!

vegans won’t leave me alone  It is your bane, Mr. Potato Head.

Kim Goodman  No joke here, just a chance to show this freaky picture again.

kimberly goodman

Kimberly Goodman is in the Guinness Book of World Records for…whatever the hell this is.

Kimberly goodman guidance counselor  Would you take her career advice?

sent to the high school guidance counselor for disturbing thoughts  Unfortunately the guidance counselor was fresh out of disturbing thoughts.

nail penetration into the testicles  There you go. (Aren’t you glad I don’t have an image for this?)

she super glued breast on me  I don’t know how I would react to seeing that.

long hard stare  That would probably be it.

disturbing question  Such as?

do they use cow poop when making limburger cheese  Why would you ask that?

my wifes feet smell like limburger cheese  Oh.

why cheese makes me immediately vomit  It’s probably that thing with your wife’s feet. Just try to hold it in.

bald guy vomiting cheese  Too late.

can i borrowa cup of cocaine?”-y  It seems like you’ve already had enough.

mice butterworth  A favorite pancake topping of cats everywhere.

felt french fries  A favorite appetizer of Muppets everywhere.

tye domi  Tie Domi will beat the crap out of you for misspelling his name.

tie domi

“It’s three freaking letters.”

personal check grim reaper  How inconvenient is it when the Grim Reaper only takes cash?

where do you place the key in the ignition for John  Shouldn’t John know? What’s the word for a question like this?

the word stupid  There it is.

http://www.Dailymail.uk.co  My blog is very similar to the Daily Mail, of course I don’t have any photos of Rihanna’s nude butt or Kate Upton topless. I’m starting to see why my blog isn’t more popular.

French Fxxxxxx Idiot  How did you know I was French?

Humor blog WordPress  At least Google gets me.

5 things the mayans got wrong 

  1. The world will end in 2012.
  2. A movie will be made about 2012 starring a man named John Cusack; it will considered a cinematic masterpiece.
  3. A man named Albert Einstein will invent the ShamWow and become filthy rich.
  4. Man will find irrefutable evidence of Bigfoot.
  5. These Spanish conquistadors seem nice; nothing bad could possible result from our relationship with them.

current news on bigfoot 2014  The Mayans were wrong.

boy riding a unicorn  My next tattoo.

something disturbing on my penis  I didn’t say where that tattoo was going to be.

happy face idiot  My new Facebook status.

big stupid smiley face  Scratch that, this is my new Facebook status.

top 1 the most sexyman intheworld  This is my new Facebook status.

Sham Wow

The Mayans often referred to Albert Einstein as Chief.

 

 

 

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