It’s time for another edition of weird search terms.
As always, these are all search terms exactly as they appear on my stats page.
fat hairy hillbillies I’m just relieved the word nude wasn’t included in this search term.
gator boots for job interviews The reason I didn’t get that job with PETA–and why I got banned from their building.
confused idiot I wasn’t confused, the gator boots were a fashion choice.
interview idiots job I didn’t get the job, you don’t have to rub it in.
high ronald mcdonald Why I was fired from McDonalds.
what happens when rats eat mcdonalds Those rats were real? I thought it was a hallucination.
chigger bites on testicles embarrassing story Is it embarrassing for you, or for the chigger?
how to clean and stretch a raccoon Finally someone is addressing this?
very very surprised animal I’ll bet it was.
hatred of racoons Maybe if you stopped stretching them, your relations with them would improve.
kissing hand raccoon coloring page Rabies shots are fun for kids.
saw amish guy buying whole dead racoons So much for raccoon Glasnost, who would do such a thing?
amish mafia Enough said.
lyrics beer forklift The worst polka song ever.
don gay bullridieng with band the rodeo clown The worst country song ever.
stressed out stick people You’d be stressed out too, if you had no discernible genitals
the little mermaid is a idiot That should read: an idiot. Who’s the idiot now?
Bigfoot’s an idiot Do you only pick on mythological creatures?
Justin Beiber does idiotic things Still mythological.
tatoo idiocy Seriously, he lived on Fantasy Island, why didn’t he just ask to be taller?
Come on Mr. Roarke, do a guy a favor.
punch an idiot in the face day This isn’t a real thing, but it really ought to be.
throwing shit on a idiot Now that’s going too far.
my idiot neighbor But maybe not.
idiot names for garden gnomes Now you have me convinced.
klingon word for sorry There is no Klingon word for sorry, but there are 58 ways to say: still a virgin.
idiot klingon I would say I’m sorry, but there’s no word for it.
hiccup erection It’s the last time I take Viagra to get rid of hiccups.
penis hysterical It is a little funny.
can your esophagus explode I wouldn’t have thought so, but then again I didn’t know anything about the hiccup erections either.
kermit the frog lady gaga Hollywood’s new power couple.
lady gaga’s costume designer Disapproves of her relationship with Kermit.
Hi-Ho, I’m Kermit The Frog–help me please!
vegans won’t leave me alone It is your bane, Mr. Potato Head.
Kim Goodman No joke here, just a chance to show this freaky picture again.
Kimberly Goodman is in the Guinness Book of World Records for…whatever the hell this is.
Kimberly goodman guidance counselor Would you take her career advice?
sent to the high school guidance counselor for disturbing thoughts Unfortunately the guidance counselor was fresh out of disturbing thoughts.
nail penetration into the testicles There you go. (Aren’t you glad I don’t have an image for this?)
she super glued breast on me I don’t know how I would react to seeing that.
long hard stare That would probably be it.
disturbing question Such as?
do they use cow poop when making limburger cheese Why would you ask that?
my wifes feet smell like limburger cheese Oh.
why cheese makes me immediately vomit It’s probably that thing with your wife’s feet. Just try to hold it in.
bald guy vomiting cheese Too late.
can i borrowa cup of cocaine?”-y It seems like you’ve already had enough.
mice butterworth A favorite pancake topping of cats everywhere.
felt french fries A favorite appetizer of Muppets everywhere.
tye domi Tie Domi will beat the crap out of you for misspelling his name.
“It’s three freaking letters.”
personal check grim reaper How inconvenient is it when the Grim Reaper only takes cash?
where do you place the key in the ignition for John Shouldn’t John know? What’s the word for a question like this?
the word stupid There it is.
http://www.Dailymail.uk.co My blog is very similar to the Daily Mail, of course I don’t have any photos of Rihanna’s nude butt or Kate Upton topless. I’m starting to see why my blog isn’t more popular.
French Fxxxxxx Idiot How did you know I was French?
Humor blog WordPress At least Google gets me.
5 things the mayans got wrong
- The world will end in 2012.
- A movie will be made about 2012 starring a man named John Cusack; it will considered a cinematic masterpiece.
- A man named Albert Einstein will invent the ShamWow and become filthy rich.
- Man will find irrefutable evidence of Bigfoot.
- These Spanish conquistadors seem nice; nothing bad could possible result from our relationship with them.
current news on bigfoot 2014 The Mayans were wrong.
boy riding a unicorn My next tattoo.
something disturbing on my penis I didn’t say where that tattoo was going to be.
happy face idiot My new Facebook status.
big stupid smiley face Scratch that, this is my new Facebook status.
top 1 the most sexyman intheworld This is my new Facebook status.
The Mayans often referred to Albert Einstein as Chief.
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