12 Reasons Lady Gaga’s Costume Designer Hates Her Job
In honor this year’s Super Bowl halftime entertainment.
One:
It’s ridiculously hard to hem a strip steak.
Accessories include: matching belt, handbag, and A1 Steak Sauce.
Two:
You’re constantly being followed by packs of feral dogs.
“The rest of you, she’s this way.”
Three:
The fact that half of her wardrobe needs refrigeration.
More perishable clothing from that trouble maker Ellen.
Four:
That queasy feeling you get in your stomach when you go to a barbeque at Lady Gaga’s house, and she serves steaks and salad.
Five:
Having to deal with Britney Spears’ uppity costume designer, every time you ask to borrow her snake.
Just an All-American girl and her freakishly huge snake.
Six:
That confusingly contradictory tattoo she has on her butt, of Winnie The Pooh with his head caught in a honey pot.
“I’m so adorable that it’s confusingly contradictory.”
Seven:
They way she gets yellow powder over everything after she wolfs down a bag of Cheetos.
Nothing wrecks the mood of a dead-carcass costume, more than Cheetos dust.
Eight:
When anti-fur protesters throw blood on Lady Gaga, and it makes her costume better.
Nine:
That unnerving feeling you get, that this one is going to send you straight to Hell.
This one’s gonna cost you.
Ten:
Your warm childhood memories of Sesame Street and Kermit The Frog have been destroyed forever.
“Hi-Ho, I’m Kermit The Frog–HELP ME PLEASE!”
Eleven:
When people ask you the innocuous question: “What did you do at work today?” And you pause momentarily, then sob uncontrollably.
Twelve:
The weight of the horrible knowledge that you helped turn this girl:
Doesn’t she look sweet?
Into this girl:
idiotpruf 