The man who has been identified as a Mr. T. Fairy was allegedly trying to gain entry to the residence of the Rizzo family. “He claims to have had business there,” the arresting officer said.
The man was discovered carrying a satchel of silver dollars and what appeared to be a bag filled with children’s teeth. “A bag of children’s teeth,” said the officer. “How sinister is that?”
The man claims to be the famed Tooth Fairy, but the police have their doubts. “I imagined the Tooth Fairy to be less masculine,” the officer admitted, “and definitely less tattooed.”
“Everybody just assumes the Tooth Fairy is some petite little woman,” Mr. Fairy said, “but that’s just sexist.”
The Investigation has uncovered that little Jay Rizzo had lost a tooth earlier in the day when on a dare, he tried to eat a brick. “Jay is pretty stupid,” his father confirmed.
Adding intrigue to the situation and weight to the man’s story: he was discovered to have wings. “We were fingerprinting him when all of a sudden these wings go fluttering up behind him,” the processing officer said, “that doesn’t normally happen.”
Mr. Fairy is being charged with trespassing and with a little used statute involving activity deemed to be more than a little icky.
“Well, the tooth will come out in the end,” Mr. Fairy said with a chuckle.
Little Jay’s lost tooth remains under his pillow, waiting for the Tooth Fairy to make bail.