Erie Coke to Add Scents to Harmful Benzene Emissions
Responding to complaints from lower eastside residents, the oft-fined Erie Coke plant has decided to add pleasant scents to mask the unpleasant odor from the benzene emissions. According to Erie Coke Spokesperson Bob Gerunkel, the scents will change often.
“We understand that the odor can sometimes be off-putting, so starting in spring, we will add floral scents to the smoke – much like incense, or potpourri. The first scent will belilac – starting April 30th,” said Gerunkel.
When asked if the new scents will mean less danger to those who breathe the air, Gerunkel replied,
“No. Oh, no. No. No. No. Not in the least.”
“Our position is that residents of the lower east side who complain about the emissions are simply taking too deep a breath of air. We would ask them to try and work with us by taking shorter breaths.”
Erie Coke also plans a series…
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idiotpruf 
But rose scented carcinogenic emissions ease the effects of cancer and lung disease, doncha know ?
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It gives Erie a lovely floral scent.
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