idiotpruf

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Archive for the day “May 21, 2018”

“Say Shoo to Me One More Time”

Being held for public indecency.

Traffic at the intersection of routes 28 and 85 in Rayburn Township, Pennsylvania, was shut down by a pair of cows having amorous relations. According to Trooper John Corna, troopers “kept trying to shoo them off the highway, but that just got the bull mad and it started to escalate.”

Of course, it made him mad, wouldn’t it make you mad if you were trying to have an intimate moment with your lady friend, and some dude started shooing you?

Well, it really ticks off bulls.

In a previous post about bull-riders, I detailed a few things that bulls hate. I may have left that list a tad incomplete. So in the interest of completion, (pun intended) more things that make bulls angry:

  • Bull-riders.
  • Rodeo clowns.
  • Circus clowns.
  • Circus Peanuts. (the candy, not the legume) Bulls hate anything loaded with saturated fat and preservatives.
  • Circus peanuts the legume. Bulls hate anything that is too salty.
  • Peanuts the comic strip. They find Charlie Brown to be too wishy-washy.
  • Ronald McDonald. Not only does he remind them of rodeo clowns, but he also sells millions of hamburgers.
  • Any grown man that wears too much make-up and brightly colored striped socks.
  • Boy George.
  • Boy-bands.
  • Boy-bands that wear clown make-up.
  • Boy-bands that wear clown make-up, and interrupt them mid-coitus.
  • People who use the term coitus.
  • Obnoxious motorists who honk their horns at them while they’re trying to have an intimate moment with their lady friend.
  • Motorists who can’t seem to figure out how a 4-way stop works, even with their “superior” human brains…and who interrupt them while they’re trying to have an intimate moment with their lady friend.
  • State troopers who keep yelling “shoo” at them while they’re trying to have an intimate moment with their lady friend.
  • Any person who yells “shoo” at them while they’re trying to have an intimate moment with their lady friend.
  • The word shoo.
  • Shoes.
  • Homophones.
  • Homo sapiens.
  • Homo sapiens with branding irons.
  • Branding irons.
  • Bulls hate pretty much everything about branding irons.
  • Matadors.
  • All men in goofy outfits.
  • The musical Cats.
  • Musicals.
  • When people burst into song for no apparent reason.
  • When people burst into song for no apparent reason, while they’re trying to have an intimate moment with their lady friend.
  • And finally: idiots who try to milk them.

If I have left anything off the list, I apologize.

It’s really irritating when you want to finish something, but can’t; just ask the bull.

bull

“Say shoo to me one more time.”

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