Let Me Explain
This was an actual conversation I witnessed between a co-worker and a supervisor and the thoughts I had as I listened to the conversation.
It was our first week on a temporary job and my co-worker was keen to be hired in full time. So keen that he felt the need to explain in detail why he had called off the previous Friday.
Co-worker: I wanted to explain why I had to call off on Friday.
Supervisor: Okay.
Co-worker: I was in jail.
Me thinking: Oh no, don’t tell him that.
Co-worker: But it wasn’t my fault. My buddy got pulled over for running a stop sign and the cop took both our licenses. I just happened to have a warrant out for my arrest.
Me Thinking: You just happened to have a warrant out for your arrest?
Supervisor: You just happened to have a warrant out for your arrest?
Co-worker: It was from like, four years ago. I still owed money on a fine.
Me thinking: Don’t tell him why you were arrested.
Co-worker: It was for cocaine possession.
Co-worker: But I don’t use illegal drugs anymore…
Me thinking: The first non-damaging thing you’ve said.
Co-worker: …very often.
Me thinking: Of course.
Co-worker: In fact, out of all the times I’ve been in jail, that’s the first time I didn’t know somebody in there.
Me thinking: Seriously? Why would you tell him that?
Supervisor: It sounds like you had a rough weekend.
Co-worker: Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I didn’t get hammered on the weekend.
Me thinking: He couldn’t possibly make this worse.
Co-worker: At least I didn’t get (at this point he crudely described being raped by another man) by a big guy named Bubba.
Me thinking: I stand corrected.
Co-worker: And they took all the cash I had and put it toward what I owed on the fine. I’ve had to bum smokes off everyone today…I mean cigarettes–not weed.
Me thinking: Good catch, that’ll save the day.
Supervisor: Well, try to stay out of trouble next weekend.
A few minutes later on the job.
Co-worker: I think that went really well.
Me: Really? You think that went well?
Co-worker: People appreciate honesty?
Me: I certainly appreciated it.
Two months later.
The co-worker was brought on full-time–I was not.
A few weeks later.
The co-worker arrived at work drunk out of his mind, fell asleep on the job, and was fired.
The moral to this little story: people are stupid and they suck.
“I’m ready for work.”
idiotpruf 
I’m sure that when he went on interviews he truthfully told them why he left his previous job. They probably weren’t as impressed by his honesty
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But I’m sure they were entertained.
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That would make me suspicious of what the supervisor gets up to at the weekend. If they found what co-worker got up to, acceptable enough to give them a job. Then what must the supervisor be doing, that makes it look acceptable.
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Maybe they hired him for his pure entertainment value.
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Hahaha. I never thought of that. You could be right there. They could have just been bored and wanted a bit of a laugh 🙂
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It’s either that or complete incompetence.
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Ha. Your so right 🙂
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Clueless trainwrecks are the best entertainment – which is probably why that one got hired on. Competent and sarcastic can be found again, but someone who will consistently get hammered and forget to pay their possession fines and then tell their boss about it? You gotta grab those before they self-destruct!
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So I should become a clueless trainwreck. I am on it.
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And write about it!
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I will be forfeiting my ability to read and write and will only communicate in a series of grunts.
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Then you’ll have to become a vlogger.
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If there is one thing the world needs, it’s more of me.
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Like this piece a lot, good job! 👍🏼
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It was certainly a joy to recall.
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Oh man, that dude nearly dug himself a hole to China! 😂😂
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He may be there now.
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That does explain a lot 😁😃
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For me it just begs the answers to more questions.
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