Why Yes, That is a Lizard in My Pants
“He couldn’t recall his first or last name as he slurred his way through the conversation,” police said.
Later they realized Kyewalyanga was his name and not just drunken gibberish.
Upon further inspection, police noticed what appeared to be a firearm tucked in Kyewalyanga’s waistband. The weapon later turned out to be an airsoft replica and not the product of Mr. Kyewalyanga’s “just being glad to see them” as he initially indicated.
“I believe that was just an erection joke,” one astute officer commented.
According to police, Rebello-McCarthy hit a number of mailboxes, and a parked vehicle in the driveway of a home.
She also hit a birdbath and a doghouse; residents Woodstock and Snoopy were furious.
When the two were arrested and getting taken to the police station, Rebello-McCarthy revealed that she had a bearded dragon lizard hiding in her bra. (Unbelievably, that is not a euphemism.)
“The bearded dragon lizard was transferred to the Taunton Police Department and turned over to the Animal Control officer. It faces no charges at this time,” Taunton police said on their Facebook page. “Just years and years of therapy.”
After closer inspection of Mr. Kyewalyanga’s pants, police discovered the Japanese movie monster Gamera was lurking about in there. Also, he was glad to see them.