In honor this year’s Super Bowl halftime entertainment.
It’s ridiculously hard to hem a strip steak.
You’re constantly being followed by packs of feral dogs.
The fact that half of her wardrobe needs refrigeration.
That queasy feeling you get in your stomach when you go to a barbeque at Lady Gaga’s house, and she serves steaks and salad.
Having to deal with Britney Spears’ uppity costume designer, every time you ask to borrow her snake.
That confusingly contradictory tattoo she has on her butt, of Winnie The Pooh with his head caught in a honey pot.
They way she gets yellow powder over everything after she wolfs down a bag of Cheetos.
When anti-fur protesters throw blood on Lady Gaga, and it makes her costume better.
That unnerving feeling you get, that this one is going to send you straight to Hell.
Your warm childhood memories of Sesame Street and Kermit The Frog have been destroyed forever.
When people ask you the innocuous question: “What did you do at work today?” And you pause momentarily, then sob uncontrollably.
The weight of the horrible knowledge that you helped turn this girl:
Into this girl: