idiotpruf

The blog that prevents scurvy…as long as you eat orange slices while you read it.

Archive for the month “October, 2025”

12 Oct 2025
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Minotaur Banned by Eatery

A Minotaur has been temporarily banned from a local restaurant after a fracas with a busboy. The unfortunate incident occurred at The Labryinth Eatery located on West Daedalus Avenue in the city square.

“I had just cleared the table, wiped it down, and I had turned to head back into the kitchen when I felt this horrible pain,” the busboy told us.

“Yeah, I gored him in the ass,” the Minotaur admitted. “But he shouldn’t have been waving that red cape around.”

“He wasn’t waving a red cape around,” the owner, Miss Pasiphae, said disgustedly, “Our color scheme here is Red and Taupe, and the dishrags used by our staff just happen to be red.”

“That busboy got off lucky,” the Minotaur retorted, “in the old days, I would have stomped him to death and eaten him.” He then paused and reflected before adding, “Taupe is a stupid color.”

It seems the occurrence has caused a dip in business at the Labyrinth Eatery. “Shockingly, most people don’t find a goring to be part of a pleasant dining experience.” Miss Pasiphae explained.

One customer who was present at the time had this to say, “Have you ever tried to eat a cheeseburger with a minotaur sitting at the next table? It is wildly uncomfortable.”

When pressed on why the ban was only temporary, Miss Pasiphae offered an explanation. “It’s best not to piss off Aphrodite–goddess of love, my ass.”

“I probably won’t go in there again anyway,” the Minotaur stated. “It’s entirely too bright and cheery in there; that has not been my experience with Labyrinths.”

Posted in funny, Humor, Jamestown, NY, mythology and tagged , ,
09 Oct 2025

Leaping Lad Causes Fires

It seems a local lad named Jack has run afoul of the authorities by causing multiple conflagrations while attempting to leap over lit candlesticks.

After reporting to another blaze, in which he nearly burned down the home of a friend, the fire chief had had enough.

“He lit his own home on fire on multiple occasions,” the fire chief related. “In the first instance, there was minimal damage. The second time, there was slightly more damage than the first. The third time that he set his home on fire, a quick-thinking friend put the fire out. The fourth time, it was a complete loss; we had to drag him out of the house with his hair still smoking.”

After that, he moved into a friend’s house, the same friend who had helped him previously, and whose house he immediately set on fire. He would end up living in a shack, which he promptly burned down. Now he lives in the woods; the forestry service is very concerned.

Despite the authorities’ best efforts, Jack has continued to be a problem.

“We have forbidden him from purchasing candles, owning candles, lighting candles, and jumping over said candles. We have also forbidden him from purchasing matches, disposable lighters, Zippo lighters, and those flint spark lighters that you have to squeeze repeatedly and are a pain in the ass to use, virtually anything that you can use to start a fire,” The local Constable told us disgustedly. “If we see him so much as rubbing two sticks together, we will arrest him.”

When pressed as to why he continues to attempt to leap over lit candles despite the calamity he’s been causing, Jack’s answer was simple. “Jumping over a lit candle is good luck.”

“Do you know what’s not good luck?” The Fire Chief responded, “Having to run into a blazing inferno; that’s what isn’t good luck.”

“How hard is it to jump over a candlestick? I mean, it’s not that tall.” The constable added in disbelief. “He is a fat little bastard.”

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