Spicy Boys and Petitions
Have you ever looked at something and thought: the name given to that thing is entirely wrong? I could think of something better.
Well that happened to a man in New Zealand as he was sitting on the toilet. He said the following:
i saw a fire ant while pooping and i thought of a better name. spicy boy is better. i also threw toilet paper at it. i didnt want it to crawl into my pants and underwear.
So this person started a petition on change.org to have fire ants renamed spicy boys.
And you thought New Zealand was all hobbits and Lucy Lawless. Shame on you.
Unfortunately the petition is now closed with a total of 2,832 supporters, and I far as I know, fire ants are still fire ants.
But I have been inspired.
Following in these footsteps of brilliance, I am now in the process of filing the following petitions:
- Sack Nancy Pelosi as House Majority Leader and replace her with Flo from the Progressive commercials.
- Change the Capitol from Washington D.C. to Hershey, Pennsylvania–and everyone gets free chocolate.
- Replace the stodgy old image of the bald eagle on U.S. currency, with a hilarious drawing of Woody Woodpecker.
- Create a third house of Congress comprised completely of losing contestants from the Bachelorette.
- Every family in the country gets a helper monkey named Mojo.
- The new Chief Justice of the Supreme Court: Judge Reinhold.
- Any time Judge Reinhold enters a courtroom, Kid Rock’s “American Badass,” plays in the background.
- The Super Bowl halftime show will be replaced by Justin Bieber and The Pope engaged in a knife fight to the death.
- The following year the winner takes on a Kardashian…any Kardashian.
- The closing bell on Wall Street to be replaced with a recording of Porky Pig stammering the words, “that’s all folks.”
- People who drive slowly in the fast lane, will have their drivers licenses immediately revoked. They will also be required to write a 5000 word essay on why they’re an imbecile. (There may also be a Super Bowl halftime knife fight involved.)
- Everyone gets a blimp.
- The state capitol of New York is to be moved from Albany to Cooperstown. The new governor: Ted Williams’ frozen head.
- Bigfoot will be made the Pennsylvania state bird. (I know it doesn’t make any sense–have you read this blog before?)
- Girls named Amanda will no longer be allowed to purchase pepper spray or recklessly bandy around the word stalker.
- People who make nonsensical lists will be forced to pay for what they’ve done.
If I have missed anything, let me know.