I just want to share a conversation I had with a exuberant runner.
Runner: Do you want to know what I think.
Me: I sincerely doubt it.
Runner: You should start running.
Me: I would need a good reason to start running.
Runner: The cardiovascular benefits.
Me: That’s not a good enough reason to start running.
Runner: What’s a good enough for you to start running?
Me: If I were on safari in Africa and a pack of elephants stampeded toward me, I would run.
Runner: That’s ridiculous.
Me: No it’s not. If you were on safari in Africa and a pack of elephants stampeded toward you, you would definitely want to run.
Runner: I mean a good reason.
Me: Not being trampled to death by elephants is pretty good reason.
Runner: Don’t you want to have better stamina as you get older?
Me: Better stamina? I can climb at least two or three flights of stairs before the searing pain in my side renders me unconscious.
Runner: Is that how you want to live?
Me: Listen, I’m fine. I walk at least two miles every day–I get plenty of exercise.
Runner: But walking doesn’t give you the same high you get from running.
Me: I smoke crack while I walk, so getting a high isn’t really a problem.
Runner: Now you’re just trying to be stupid.
Me: I’m not trying–it’s really no effort at all.
Runner: Tell me what it would take to get you to run.
Me: Well, if I was in Tokyo and Godzilla attacked…hey, where are you going.
Evidently getting away from me is also a good reason to run.