Imagine the following scenario: you’re innocently walking down street, minding your own business, when suddenly from the corner of your eye you spot something: on the grass sits a toad. You make a mental note of the toad, but you just keep walking.
But as you walk, you can’t shake one niggling thought: I could have licked that toad.
It’s a thought that persists with you through the following days. It grows from a gentle nagging into a full blown obsession.
Your days are filled with confusion and regret; your nights are haunted with sleepless torment.
And thus begins your journey as a toad-licker.
There’s no shame in it. You’re not hurting anybody. You’re still the same person you’ve always been, but people see you differently now.
Admittedly, a much higher than normal percentage of toad-kickers are criminally insane, but that’s not you.
Your friends begin to treat you differently, they shy away from you, they stop inviting you to get-togethers for fear you’ll suddenly produce a toad from your pocket and start licking it at a really inappropriate time.
You will do that, but you’re discreet about it. Besides, if you can’t lick a toad at a funeral; when can you lick a toad.
Society tries to separate and ostracize you.
It’s not like you’ve got Ebola, or the face of a goat, or you’re a Kardashian: YOU’RE NOT A FREAK!
I urge everyone to look into your hearts and give toad-lickers a chance; toad-lickers are people just like you and me…apart from all the toad-licking and the fact they rarely bathe.
Please, toad-lickers just need some understanding…except for this guy–he’s a weirdo.