idiotpruf

Beware The Ides of March

On March 15, 44 BC. Julius Caesar was stabbed to death in the Theatre of Pompey at a meeting of the Senate by as many as 60 conspirators.

Note: The Theatre of Pompey was showing the remake of Footloose at the time; the stabbing was the second most disappointing part of Caesar’s day.

Upon realizing one of the conspirators was his friend, Brutus, he uttered the now infamous phrase, “Et Tu Bluto.”

It was in that moment that Brutus became enraged and screamed, “Bluto is the original name of the character from the Popeye cartoons, which was later changed to Brutus, you imbecile; my name is Brutus. How many times do I have to tell you that?” Brutus then stabbed Caesar repeatedly and viciously.

Historians will tell you Julius Caesar’s assassination was politically motivated and resulted from rising tensions between Caesar and the Senate. Historians will also tell you that several senators feared Caesar would overthrow the Senate in favor of tyranny. Historians are always blathering on about something in the past.

Well, historians are full of it.

I know the real story: everyone was just sick of Caesar forcing them to put anchovies on their salad — anchovies are gross.

Final Note: The word assassination has the word ass in it twice. That amuses me more than it should.