idiotpruf

Scorpion Stings Man in the Nuts

A man is suing the Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada, after an unfortunate incident that occurred during his stay.

Michael Farchi says he awoke in the middle of the night to discover he was being stung in the testicles by a scorpion.

(I’m not making this up.)

According to Michael, he was stung multiple times in the naughty bits, which was later confirmed by doctors at a local hospital after they were done laughing.

Michael claims he is still suffering health issues from the attack that occurred on Dec. 26th.

Perhaps Las Vegas should change its motto to “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas…unless you’re stung in the nuggets a bunch of times by a scorpion.”

“Nobody staying in Vegas needs to [be] exposed to deadly scorpions while they’re sleeping, let alone on their private parts, their testicles,” said his attorney, Brian Virag.

I would argue the Vegas part is irrelevant; nobody needs to be stung in the testicles by a scorpion at anytime, anywhere, ever.

Michael claims that even though his family cut the vacation short, he still had to pay the Venetian Hotel for the stay.

I have to say, the Venetians may good at canals, glass-blowing, and masks (and I love all the work they’ve done with blinds), but they suck at running hotels.

But there is a forgotten part of this story: what about the poor scorpion.

“It was horrifying,” the scorpion said, “I woke up, and there were two big hairy nuts in my face. I stung them as many times as I could; I barely got away with my life.”

Stanley (the scorpion’s name is Stanley) went on to describe how he would probably be traumatized for life. “Every time I see a picture of a canal, I break down and sob uncontrollably,” he stated.

There is no word yet on whether, or not Stanley will take legal action against the Venetian Hotel.

Here’s hoping for a speedy recovery for both Michael and Stanley.