what the hell else are you gonna do with your time?

Rapunzel Chops off Hair

RapunzelGermany–“I thought it was time for a change,” Rapunzel, the maiden famous for her golden voice and golden locks of hair said about her drastic change in hairstyle. “There’s not a lot to do just sitting in this tower all day. Besides, do you have any idea how much hair conditioner I go through in a month? I’ll give you a hint: it’s like crap through Mother Goose.”

“She looks like a blond Chia Pet,” a dejected prince said.

Evidently the recent change in Rapunzel’s hairstyle has put a strain on her relationship with the prince, who had been surreptitiously visiting her nightly.

“I just don’t understand what happened,” the prince said. “We had this great routine: I’d yell ‘Rapunzel let down your hair,’ she would let down her flowing golden locks, and I would climb up to her. We’d spend the night together, it was beautiful and romantic.”

“Sure, if you consider forty feet of split ends to be romantic,” Rapunzel told us. “Besides, he was starting to put on some weight–that wasn’t helping the situation.”

 “It’s just Winter weight,” the prince objected.

“And when I asked him what he thought of my new look, he just stood there slack-jawed,” Rapunzel said. “When I pressed him for a response, he said something so insulting, I won’t repeat it.”

“I suppose it could be worse is what I said,” the prince admitted. “That was a mistake…it really couldn’t be worse.”


A dejected Prince.


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