Wielding a large sledgehammer, Mayor Joe Schember announced today that he will personally destroy the McBride Viaduct, which he says will save taxpayers millions of dollars.
“We bid out the contract, and the bids came in higher than we thought,” said Schember, “So I thought me and Sledgie here could do the job for free.”
When asked how long the demolition would take, Mayor Schember said, “I’ve looked at the reports on the current condition of the Viaduct, and I think it will just take a couple of swings to bring her down.”
Local activist Lisa Austin, who opposes demolition of the Viaduct, stated that this latest plan will not be a deterrent in her fight to save the Viaduct. When asked for comment, Austin said, “I will keep fighting to save the Viaduct, even long after it is demolished.”