The blog that prevents scurvy…as long as you eat orange slices while you read it.

Help Me Pick My Next Post Topic

Wile E. Coyote

Wile E. and I are kindred spirits.

Several months ago I was having a dream.

In this dream my uncle was trying to chop my face off with an ax. He was chasing me through the woods and he seemed very determined in his efforts. He seemed to be enjoying himself a great deal. He was reminiscent of Jack Torrance from The Shining, but much more disheveled and maniacal. As ax wielding maniacs go–he was good at it.

Why would my uncle be chasing me through the woods with an ax? He has issues…and an ax.

Note: if my uncle were to chase me through the woods with an ax, it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done to me. He’s a miserable backstabbing rat-bastard of a human being, and I’m sugar-coating it.

Jack Nicholson

Here’s Miserable Backstabbing Rat-Bastard.

Anyway, I awoke from the dream and had a brilliant idea for a blog post, it would be the single funniest blog post ever written.

I quickly jotted the idea down, lest I should forget, and went back to sleep.

The next morning I looked at what I had written: Bad Idea Fireman.

I had absolutely no clue what it meant. I had absolutely no clue what I was thinking when I wrote it down. I had nothing.

Was it a bad idea to become a fireman?

Was it a bad idea a fireman had?

Were firemen a bad idea in general? That seems unlikely unless I was alluding to the firemen in Ray Bradbury’s dystopic tale, Fahrenheit 451. A great book, but not really full of laughs.

It’ll come to me I thought.

It didn’t.

It still hasn’t months later, and I had forgotten about it until I stumbled upon it today in my drafts section.

Then I had a thought (it happens): my drafts section has become cluttered with half-written posts and neglected ideas; it’s time to change that.

Here’s a short list of some of the unfinished posts:

Why do Hillbillies Have Weird Faces?

This search term popped up on my stats page. It’s a compelling questioned that deserves an answer.

Why Sea-Monkeys are Better Than Your Cousins.

I’m not certain why this one wasn’t finished, it practically writes itself.

Don’t Say it to Your Boss.

I found a list of things not to say to your boss at a work relations website. The list was woefully inadequate; I could immediately think of a half dozen ill-advised things I’ve said to bosses, that weren’t on the list.

Where is Bigfoot and Why is He so Damned Hard to Find?

Answering this question would wipe out half of the programming on Animal Planet.

Bad Idea Fireman.

Your guess is as good as mine.

Vote for the post you want to see, or leave a comment, or do both.

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41 thoughts on “Help Me Pick My Next Post Topic

  1. Sorry to learn your uncle was so rotten to you. I suppose we all get those kinda folks, unfortunately.

    As for your next post, you shouldn’t think about it so much really. It’s not that serious…I hope not. I know you didn’t ask but I usually don’t blog ’til I have it figured out. But if you insist, you could talk about your uncle and his beginnings. Write a short story about him. It’s the best revenge if you can maintain objectivity.


  2. longchaps2 on said:

    I know where Big Foot is. That’s too easy. Now the inner workings of that brain of yours in a half fugue state…Bad Idea Fireman…oh YEAH. Bring it.


  3. You should use all of the words from the titles and content to create a single post. Something along the lines of “Why Sea Monkey Firemen are so Hard to Find.” or “Why are Hard Hillbillies a Bad Idea to your Cousins?”… like you said, it kind of writes itself.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. My Dad was a fireman for a while before I was born. He was “moonlighting,” working a second job which was forbidden. He fell off a ladder and broke his back. “Bad idea, Fireman.” I didn’t make this up. In fact, I think I was conceived during his recovery. So maybe it wasn’t’t such a bad idea after all.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. That’s hilarious! “Bad Idea Fireman” almost sounds like a meme. Maybe he runs back into buildings to save stuffed animals or cuts off someone’s arm if it’s on fire. Side note: I voted for the sea monkey post because I’m truly interested in what exactly makes them better than cousins. It sounds fascinating and you should definitely elaborate. That title would arouse anyone’s curiosity


  6. I like the Fireman idea….. Maybe he gets stuck in a tree and has to be rescued by a cigar smoking kat with cattitude and a short ladder…. Just sayin…😸

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Maybe it was note to yourself that it would be a bad idea to write a post about a fireman. Not that I’m trying to muddy the waters or anything.


  8. Hmm, I’m torn between Why do Hillbillies Have Weird Faces? and Why Sea-Monkeys are Better Than Your Cousins. I think you’ll have to cover them both. It really wouldn’t be fair to your readers if you didn’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It leads, but you know, it does not really matter, what we vote for as first – the other topics will just be covered in later posts, I am sure …


  10. “Don’t say it to your boss” PLEASE.


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