These are exactly the way I found them, with a few comments or observations from myself.
Hall & Oates beef jerky A genius marketing plan–nothing says Philadelphia soul music like dried meat products.
drive nails through Scrotum It is my sincerest hope that this person wasn’t looking for a how-to site.
testicle nails You can find these in your local hardware store, right next to the wood screws.
testicles sister I’ve never met her, but do know testicle’s brother.
Note: A disturbing number of search terms contained the word testicle.
Scientology and Body Hair The title of John Travolta’s unauthorized biography.
carton of mad I purchase my mad by the case; it’s cheaper that way.
playdough science experiments fire. Bill Nye’s best episode ever.
proof gremlins don’t exist Gremlins do exist, a troll told me.
do gremlins poop or pee Constantly, according to the troll.
Cure for hiccups the government won’t tell First the grassy knoll, and now this.
does our government lie about mermaids? No. But just try asking those weasels about hiccups.
girl traffic diarrhea A girl with a problem.
holding in diaphram erectile dysfunction A guy with a problem.
“most disturbing part” sexual The same guy.
Can your guidance counselor call you stuiped? Only if you misspell the word stupid.
is your guidence counselor supposed to be nice Of course. What a stuiped question.
poop finger paint The cause of my lifetime ban from the Louvre.
who hates raccoons Anyone who knows the pain of being stood up on prom night…by a raccoon.
toothless idiot pictures A bad fetish site.
ungulate whore A worse fetish site. (But an amazing name for a racehorse.)
obese garden gnome image A really disturbing fetish site.
paris hilton tourette syndrome A new and terrifying form of Tourette Syndrome. Sufferers will seek out attention of any kind. They will accost anyone holding a camera while screaming, “everybody look at me. I have a tiny dog that fits in my purse.”
Cartoon stick girl Another search result involving Paris Hilton.
do new justin beiber dolls come out 2012 Only if my prayers come true.
How do I meet the new neighbors? See search term below.
i don’t want to meet the new neighbours Please, let these two people be neighbors.
lab rats French Similar to normal lab rats, but they wear tiny berets.
mad scientist who made Frankenstein Good question. Here’s another: what was the name of that famous baseball player who died from Lou Gehrig’s disease?
is walking and lifting heavy objects exercise I consider just thinking about walking and lifting heavy objects to be exercise.
how to clean and stretch a raccoon Finally, somebody is addressing this problem.
how to make wooden knickers for bigfoot hunting. We have wooden knickers for everything else.
ways of saying you are a peon See search term below.
can you get a concussion from walking into a glass door? Peon.
is it illegal to stab somebody in the face with plastic forks It won’t be if my ballot initiative goes well. Vote early. Vote often.