The Day of the Mushroom
April 16th is The Day of the Mushroom, and if you’re anything like me (condolences if you are), you are ready to celebrate.
Nothing gets me more excited than the thought of fungi, and in particular, mushrooms.
(Honestly, I could do without the laquered bracket, they’re so full of themselves.)
Did you know that fungi can reproduce both sexually and asexually?
I know what you’re thinking: don’t we all.
Here’s a fact you didn’t know: The largest living organism on Earth is a 2,000-acre honey fungus in Oregon, estimated to be thousands of years old.
Just try getting Dominos to put that on your pizza.
Mushrooms are more closely related to animals than plants; their cell walls contain chitin, a material found in insects, crabshells, and many of the Kardashians.
They also breathe in oxygen and expel carbon dioxide, just like we do. (Mushrooms, not the Kardashians)
Unlike us, mushrooms are delicious on pizza; had the Donner Party taken mushrooms with them, that entire trip would have turned out differently.
The Romans worshipped mushrooms and considered them the food of the gods. Nero was a big fan of mushrooms.
Nero wasn’t actually fiddling while Rome burned; he was gorging himself on mushrooms. He kind of made a pig of himself.
You can quote me on that last fact.
So go out today and have yourself some mushrooms.
But not if you find them growing on cow poop; leave those alone.
idiotpruf 