Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) St. Paul’s School is well-known for its haircut policy requiring any student whose hair grows past a certain length to cut it, as well as shave any facial hair they have, or face disciplinary action. A St. Paul’s student has reportedly joined a gang and fallen into a […]
Island of Sarpedon–Athena, the proprietor of Athena’s Hair, Nails, and Greek Yogurt Temple, has caused a stir by refusing to serve one of her most loyal customers.
“I’ve been going to Athena’s Temple for years now,” a distraught Medusa commented. “Suddenly it seems that my presence is a problem.”
“When Medusa and her sisters Stheno and Euryale would stop by it was delightful,” Athena said. “They were all so easy to deal with, especially Medusa; she had flowing locks of golden hair with nary a split end–things are different now.”
“I got involved with Poseidon, became pregnant and my body went through a few changes–is that so horrible?” Medusa demanded.
“A few changes?” Athena responded indignantly. “Her hair was transformed into a writhing mass of hissing venomous snakes…and some of them are really mean. And that’ not the worst of it: her face is so hideous, merely gazing upon it turns a person to stone.”
“That’s a terrible thing to say about a person,” Medusa replied when informed of Athena’s statement.
“Did you notice all those statues I have in front of the Temple?” Athena replied, “They’re all former employees; do you have any idea what that does to your insurance?”
“I don’t know what I’ll do now that I can’t go to Athena’s,” Medusa lamented.
“There’s a reptile farm down the street,” Athena recommended.
“That’s so very hurtful,” Medusa said as she wiped a tear from one the serpents eyes.
“You shouldn’t have to keep so much snake anti-venom on stock just to run a hair salon,” Athena stated.
