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[satire] CRY WOLF: St. Paul’s Student Joins Gang, Falls Into Life of Crime After Hair Gets Too Long — The Paper Wolf

Cry Wolf Satirical News (COVINGTON, La.) St. Paul’s School is well-known for its haircut policy requiring any student whose hair grows past a certain length to cut it, as well as shave any facial hair they have, or face disciplinary action. A St. Paul’s student has reportedly joined a gang and fallen into a […]

via [satire] CRY WOLF: St. Paul’s Student Joins Gang, Falls Into Life of Crime After Hair Gets Too Long — The Paper Wolf

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Medusa Banned From Hair Salon

medusaIsland of Sarpedon–Athena, the proprietor of Athena’s Hair, Nails, and Greek Yogurt Temple, has caused a stir by refusing to serve one of her most loyal customers.

“I’ve been going to Athena’s Temple for years now,” a distraught Medusa commented. “Suddenly it seems that my presence is a problem.”

“When Medusa and her sisters Stheno and Euryale would stop by it was delightful,” Athena said. “They were all so easy to deal with, especially Medusa; she had flowing locks of golden hair with nary a split end–things are different now.”

“I got involved with Poseidon, became pregnant and my body went through a few changes–is that so horrible?” Medusa demanded.

“A few changes?” Athena responded indignantly. “Her hair was transformed into a writhing mass of hissing venomous snakes…and some of them are really mean. And that’ not the worst of it: her face is so hideous, merely gazing upon it turns a person to stone.”

“That’s a terrible thing to say about a person,” Medusa replied when informed of Athena’s statement.

“Did you notice all those statues I have in front of the Temple?” Athena replied, “They’re all former employees; do you have any idea what that does to your insurance?”

“I don’t know what I’ll do now that I can’t go to Athena’s,” Medusa lamented.

“There’s a reptile farm down the street,” Athena recommended.

“That’s so very hurtful,” Medusa said as she wiped a tear from one the serpents eyes.

antidote

“You shouldn’t have to keep so much snake anti-venom on stock just to run a hair salon,” Athena stated.

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