idiotpruf

It’s International Fanny Pack Day

We call it a fanny pack in America. It is also known as a waist wallet, belt bag, belly bag, chaos pouch, buffalo pouch, hip sack, butt pack, and moon bag.
(Personally, I would avoid using the phrase butt pack, but that’s just me.)
I think I can write without fear of hyperbole; the fanny pack is the greatest invention in the history of the world.
I know that the dude who invented the wheel was pretty full of himself about it, but that guy didn’t even have indoor plumbing–invent that, buddy.
Fanny packs are stylish and filled with utility; in France, where they’re known as a sac banane, you can fill them with rocks and beat mimes with them.
I believe every man, woman, and child should be adorned with a fanny pack; I also believe there is a cabal of evil mimes bent on world domination, but that’s a separate issue.
In the past, there has been a stigma toward men who wear fanny packs, but think of the useful things men can carry in a fanny pack: a phone, car keys, protein bars, a wallet, and, since they’re not using them, their testicles.
So, let’s all take a moment to celebrate International Fanny Pack Day.