As promised in the previous post, the following is a conversation with Klingon speaking Ed.
His real name isn’t Ed. I’ve changed the name to protect the innocent. The innocent being myself; Ed’s a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
Me: So, what’s up with this whole speaking Klingon thing?
Ed: Isn’t it obvious why I speak Klingon?
Me: I dunno–have all the normal ways in which you repel women begun to fail?
Ed: MOK TUK BAH.
Me: Nope, (wiping the spit from my face) you’re as repellent as ever.
Ed: Klingon is the language of a noble warrior race.
Me: Of course it is. It just seems to me that it would be more useful to learn a language you may encounter on this planet, such as French.
Ed: French is hardly the language of a noble warrior race.
Me: Point taken. What about Spanish, a lot of people speak that language?
Ed: No. Mexican food gives me gas.
Me: Does it? I’m curious, is there a Klingon word for non sequitur?
Ed: I don’t know what that is.
Me: It’s a Latin word that means: it does not follow.
Ed: Why didn’t you just say it does not follow?
Me: So you think it’s more useful to use an English word than a word in a language very few people speak?
Ed: People don’t screw you when you speak Klingon.
Me: Really, you speak Klingon and people screw with you constantly.
Ed: That’s not true.
Me: Well, I’m pretty much screwing with you right now.
Ed: I don’t think so.
Me: It feels like I am.
Ed: Klingons are hyper-aware of their surroundings.
Me: You do realize you’re not a Klingon?
Ed: Of course I do; I’m not an idiot.
Ed: MOK TUK BAH.
I wiped the spit from my face as I watched him storm away in a huff. Real Klingons never storm away in a huff.