idiotpruf

It’s National Pluto Day!

I woke up today in a state of pure joy and anticipation.
What was the impetus for this intense state of excitement?
Did I get a big promotion at work?
Not with my work ethic.
Did that pretty woman I asked on a date agree to go out with me?
I never got a definitive answer; by the time I’d wiped the pepper spray from my eyes, she was gone.
Did my order of Sea-Monkeys finally come in?
Are you crazy–I’m not Sea-Monkey excited.
Today is National Pluto Day.
An entire day to soak in the greatness of that loveable cartoon dog.
It is a little weird that he’s a dog owned by a mouse, but that aside, Pluto has brought joy to audiences for nearly a century.
I decorated extensively in preparation (balloons), but then I discovered National Pluto Day pertains to the dwarf planet Pluto and not the beloved animated pet.
I must admit that I was disappointed; Pluto isn’t even a proper planet anymore.
I wish my Sea-Monkeys had come today.
But then I rebounded; so what if Pluto isn’t a full planet anymore? I could still celebrate its existence.
Pluto was named after the Roman god of the underworld; that’s interesting, right?
Its existence was surmised in the late 19th century by observing perturbations in the orbit of Uranus. (Insert your own joke here.)
Visual confirmation of Pluto was made in 1930, and it subsequently became our solar system’s ninth planet.
However, in later years, many other objects were discovered orbiting in the same volume as Pluto, indicating that Pluto is part of a group called the Kuiper belt.
(Not to be confused by the belt worn by longtime major league infielder and broadcaster Duane Kuiper; they’re two different things.)
In 2006, Pluto lost its status as a planet and was reclassified as a dwarf planter; it’s all very sad.
On a more positive note, today is also National Flirting Day, so see if you can’t do something with that.