What the Hell, Google?
The other day, I went to Google in search of a bit of information, as I am an inquisitive individual, and I began my request with the word what.
A perfectly normal word with which to begin a search for knowledge.
If I had typed in the question, what is a perfectly normal word to begin a search for knowledge, the word what could have readily been the answer.
However, as I typed in the word what and hit the space bar, Google, without hesitation, auto-filled the remainder of my question with: what mushrooms shouldn’t you eat out of cow poop?
What the hell, Google?
That’s not even remotely the question I was going to ask, and I’m a little offended that you presumed that was the direction I was heading.
In fact, Google, you popped that out so quickly it was as if you were just waiting for me to type the word what so you could shove that remark about the mushrooms in cow poop in my face.
If I had typed in the word who, would you have responded with: who likes to eat mushrooms out of cow poop, you maybe?
Maybe I was about to inquire about the unified field theory and how it allows all fundamental forces and elementary particles to be written in terms of a single type of field or about the influence of French Baroque architecture on the 17th century.
I wasn’t going to ask either of those things; I was going to ask if Dandelion Yellow crayons actually taste like dandelions, but you didn’t know that.
I was curious because the Banana Mania-colored crayons tasted absolutely nothing like bananas — I mean, they weren’t even close.
I wrote a strongly worded letter to the Crayola company regarding their false advertising.
It’s not even a question I need answered; you should almost never eat mushrooms out of cow poop. When I say almost never, I mean only do it when nobody is watching.
If Crayola had a color named Mushrooms in Cow Poop, I certainly wouldn’t eat that; I’ve had enough disappointment in my life.
What if someone had been trying to ask an important question such as, what shall I do? My husband is being attacked by a pack of vicious mink?
But you respond with your nonsense about mushrooms in cow poop. By the time that poor person has the answers they need, those mink will have chewed that man’s ears off and run away with them.
It’s what mink do; that’s why they used to make coats out of them.
So, from this point forward, you can keep your opinions to yourself. Let me ask the questions.
Questions like: what is the best way to get crayon out of your teeth? That’s a question that needs to be answered.
idiotpruf 