idiotpruf

Slow and Steady Wins Nothing

There are people who will tell you that slow and steady wins the race.
Don’t buy it; those people are slovenly dull-witted liars who can only win races if they convince everyone else to take it slow and steady.
If you were to make a list of characteristics detrimental to winning a race, being slow would be near the top of the list.
I could argue that being slow is the entire list.
And I don’t want to hear that adding the word steady to the word slow makes it beneficial to winning a race. Being slow and steady simply means you’re consistently slow.
It’s akin to saying a person is smart because they consistently do stupid things, things such as claiming that slow people win races.
People like to put forth Aesop’s Fable of The Hare & the Tortoise as the prime example of slow and steady winning the race.
The Tortoise didn’t win the race because it’s better to be slow and steady; the Tortoise won the race because the Hare was clearly drugged.
You don’t just decide to take a nap in the middle of a race.
The race was being judged by the Fox, and foxes are notoriously untrustworthy and degenerate gamblers.
There are two places you should never allow a fox: inside your henhouse and at the OTB.
A version of the fable details how a great forest fire breaks out the night after the race. The Tortoise being the newly minted fasted animal in the forest is sent to warn the rest of the animals of the forest. Because the Tortoise is slow, nobody is warned, and all the animals of the forest burn to death.
Fun!
So, the next time you’re in a race, take it slow and steady and see how that works out for you.