The blog that prevents scurvy…as long as you eat orange slices while you read it.

Which is the Worst?

hard choices

Which of these scenarios is the worst?

scenario #1

You’re locked in a small room filled with disease-riddled monkeys that screech at the top of their disease-riddled lungs, and with incredible precision, hurl their disease-riddled feces at your face…and they’re smug.

 scenario #2

You’re taken into the desert on an oppressively hot day, stripped naked, tied to an ant hill populated with crazy stinging Amazonian bastard ants, and honey is slathered over your naughty bits.

scenario #3

You’re given a vat filled with puss and random toad bits, and you have to eat every last drop…and you can’t have any salt.

(You could substitute your aunt’s potato salad here–it’s the same difference.)

scenario #4

You have to swim a mile through raw sewage and dead rats, and you have to use the breaststroke.

scenario #5

You have to spend the day with your aunts, uncles, and cousins at the family reunion.

I know what you’re thinking: they’re all pretty horrible, but which one is the worst?

potato salad

Your aunt always uses too much eye of newt.

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12 thoughts on “Which is the Worst?

  1. For a variety of reasons I’ll say #2.


  2. Maybe it’s not an obvious choice for most people, but #5. I only have maybe a dozen uncles, aunts, and cousins with 3,000 mile radius, and most of them don’t even know what a potato salad is.


  3. That explains why I can never find eye of newt when I need it.


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