Which of these scenarios is the worst?
You’re locked in a small room filled with disease-riddled monkeys that screech at the top of their disease-riddled lungs, and with incredible precision, hurl their disease-riddled feces at your face…and they’re smug.
You’re taken into the desert on an oppressively hot day, stripped naked, tied to an ant hill populated with crazy stinging Amazonian bastard ants, and honey is slathered over your naughty bits.
You’re given a vat filled with puss and random toad bits, and you have to eat every last drop…and you can’t have any salt.
(You could substitute your aunt’s potato salad here–it’s the same difference.)
You have to swim a mile through raw sewage and dead rats, and you have to use the breaststroke.
You have to spend the day with your aunts, uncles, and cousins at the family reunion.
I know what you’re thinking: they’re all pretty horrible, but which one is the worst?