Denouement–it’s Fun to Say
Edgar Allan Poe: novelist, short story writer, and poet…something is missing.
In a previous post I stressed the importance of reading.
But it’s not just that you read; what you read is of equal importance.
The novel: Novels are essentially piles and piles of words endlessly strung together. Novelists are concerned with things like setting, theme, plot resolution, and character growth. Do friends become enemies? Do enemies become friends? Are obstacles overcome?
Important questions need to be answered in novels.
- Does Captain Ahab’s obsession with the white whale drag him under?
- Does Edmund Dantes’ quest for revenge ruin his chance for happiness?
- Does Jay Gatsby reunite with his long-lost love?
- Does Sydney Carton seek redemption by going to the gallows for another?
- Does Lucy ever let Charlie Brown kick the football?
Seriously, novels are just exhausting–I would avoid them.
Note: The word denouement is fun to say–it’s all Frenchy.
Reading novels makes young children have disturbing hallucinations…it’s a fact.
The short story: Short stories are just novels for people with short attention spans. They are primarily written by lazy novelists who probably had a little too much to drink the night before, and couldn’t be bothered to write a proper novel.
Don’t waste your time with short stories.
Poetry: The key element of poetry you need to recognize is that if can even remotely understand it, it’s not proper poetry. When a poet writes a poem about a leaf being blown from a tree, falling to the ground, and being trampled underfoot. He’s not actually writing about a leaf being blown from a tree, falling to the ground, and being trampled underfoot.
The leaf represents hopelessness, and the futility of a life marred by series of tragic events. The leaf being blown from the tree represents a life spiraling into an alcohol fueled abyss of despair. The leaf being trampled underfoot represents the crushing weight of an uncaring world and inevitable grip of death.
It’s all so confusing and depressing. I once spent the better part of an afternoon curled up in the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably after reading a collection Sylvia Plath poems. (Sylvia Plath was one depressing chick.)
For the sake of your mental health stay away from poetry.
Note: This does not apply to limericks. Limericks are short humorous poems with a strict meter and rhyme scheme. They tend to revolve around an odd man from a small island off the coast of Massachusetts.
Nantucket: evidently there was once a man from there.
The humor blog: Humor blogs are unsurpassed in pure entertainment value. They are practically happiness in written form.
Many humor bloggers are attractive people; the rest are stunningly attractive people. Humor bloggers are the best sort of people; the sort of people you want to praise continuously and occasionally bask in their reflected glow.
They have breath that is perpetually minty fresh, and they seldom sweat.
Humor blogs are read by highly intelligent people. They are read by people who are witty and charming. They are wholly unlike those dullards who read books of poetry.
Humor blogs enrich your life, and they give meaning to your otherwise drab existence.
Whenever a humor blog is read, somewhere a small child laughs.
Humor blogs are to be read, read again, memorized, and repeated aloud in public.
You have your mission–so get to it.
Congratulations, you just made a small child laugh.
idiotpruf 
Thanks for making ME laugh. Am I just but a child? Who know. May not be such a bad thing after all. But I am witty and charming as well, so you are on point. But I still love me a good, long, strung out novel.
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As long as I made you laugh.
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Nantucket is on my bucket list. Also, you are spot on in your description of humor bloggers. You’ve obviously made a thorough study and should expect the Nobel committee to call soon-ish. I don’t actually know what their schedule looks like, but you must be on it.
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I’m not concerned with the Nobel people; I’m still waiting on my Heisman trophy.
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Pingback: Denouement–it’s Fun to Say — idiotprufs – San Alberto
Your thoughts on scratch n’ sniff literature?
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Breakfast at Tiffany’s: I’m fine with it. Slaughterhouse Five: less enthusiastic.
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Ahaha.. Me reading this blog is definitely making a child somewhere laugh.. I try to be a humour blogger too, I hope my blog is making a little star shine brighter or something 🙂 OOh or a flower bloom!
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I’m sure this blog makes flowers bloom as it is often compared to fertilizer.
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Hahaha! Surely not! More like fairy dust- sprinkled on plants and they bloom!
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You can call it fairy dust if you like, but it all smells the same.
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Perhaps you don’t like novels because you began with Dostoevsky. That would have killed it for me.
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I’m probably just stupid.
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Nah. You can’t be. You’re idiotpruf.
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No. I’m genuinely stupid.
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Suffering from low self-esteem, perhaps. 😖
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Suffering from stark reality.
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Totally agree on the humor blogs. Although, in my experience, there are blogs that are tagged as “humor” but are about as funny as a Sylvia Plath limerick.
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Maybe humor was a typo, and they meant the word tumor.
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Can I undo that child laugh? I am not child-friendly.
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Read a Sylvia Plath poem, that makes children weep.
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I have at least one biography of her … Should do the trick.
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Good enough.
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Little did I know my blog was making small children laugh. That’s so rewarding! Do angels get their wings too? Or am I just expecting too much now?
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You can never expect too much.
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