Read by four out of five drunken monkeys, written by the fifth.

Honey and Flies: What’s the Point


You’re all familiar with the following saying:

You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.

The suggestion here is that you gain more by being nice to people than by being rude.

But this is the question I have for you: why do you want to catch a bunch of flies; you can’t do anything with them.

You can’t train them to do anything, they’re completely stupid.

You can’t eat them: you get wing stuck in your teeth, they have limited nutritional value, and they taste like fly.

And once you’ve got flies stuck in your honey, the honey is ruined. Ten seconds before that fly landed in your honey, it was prancing around on a disease ridden pile of dog crap.

Do you really want to walk around all day being all flowery and nice to people if your reward is a bunch of stupid, disease ridden, dog crap prancing, insects that taste like fly.

Let me give you a quick heads-up about people: people suck.

It would be a different story if you could train flies to attack people that suck. I’d be all for throwing the honey around then.

Until then, I think I’ll just stick with the vinegar.


Moses: now there was a dude who knew how to use flies.

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14 thoughts on “Honey and Flies: What’s the Point

  1. Todd Duffey Uses Words on said:

    Hahahahaha. And absolutely.


  2. Here’s what I’ve never understood about that expression: honey isn’t all that good a fly trap. Flies can land on honey and take off again, and since they can walk on it and breed on it just fine, they won’t ever drown in it. So even if you’ve got a brilliant fly trap set up, if you’re using honey as your bait what you’ve got is a fly breeding box and no one wants that. On the other hand, if you’re doing an open-air thing and you don’t want flies to be an issue, you can set up a couple of simple fly traps using red wine vinegar as bait because they will go for it—flies are stupid. Then they drown and everyone’s happy. Except the flies, of course, but fuck ’em—plenty of flies in the forest, eh? (Wine works even better than vinegar, but only if you’ve got some that you’re not going to drink… which really only happens when someone brings a bottle of something vile then drinks the good stuff instead)


  3. cattitudechronicles on said:

    And Kats too!! 😹

    Liked by 1 person

  4. cattitudechronicles on said:

    Mwahahahaha!!!!!!! Well, we kats can use flies – they’re great little fitness machines for us – I could chase them all day! (But I never eat them -)!


  5. not to mention…you can catch more flies with disease ridden dog crap than with honey…so the moral that I see here is…give people who suck a bag of dog crap. flaming. on their front door step. That way, they get what they deserve, and you get a good laugh. Win Win!


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