the blog that made the pope laugh so hard he peed himself.

A Lasagna-Like Substance

lasagnaThis is an actual conversation I had with person. (Seriously, I’m not making this up.)

Her: I made lasagna last night, it turned out mostly okay.

Me: mostly?

Her: the sauce was fine, I used ricotta cheese, I forgot the noodles, but it baked up nicely.

Me: (a moment of puzzled silence.) did you say you forgot the noodles?

Her: yes. But other than that it turned out perfect.

Me: but you forgot the noodles?

Her: yes.

Me: so it was just a dish of meat sauce and cheese?

Her: yes.

Me: no pasta at all?

Her: what don’t you understand?

Me: so very much about this.

Her: I forgot the noodles–it happens.

Me: I don’t think it does. I’m not sure it’s ever happened; you may be a pioneer.

Her: it was just a practice lasagna anyway.

Me: strictly speaking–I don’t think you can call that a lasagna.

Her: (Angry silence.)

Me: when you construct a lasagna you do it in layers, several of which are strips of pasta.

Her: I know how to make a lasagna.

Me: evidently you don’t.

Her: can we just drop it!

So we dropped it.

Later she confided that she had also made practice brownies which had hardened and congealed so permanently to the pan, that she had no choice but to throw the pan and attached brownies into her backyard in disgust…but at least you could call them brownies.homer cooking


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19 thoughts on “A Lasagna-Like Substance

  1. Perhaps you should buy her a cookbook – or a chef


  2. As someone who went to school to learn cooking and many years working with European Chefs, I have to laugh my head off! It is not called Lasagna if it has no noodles, she made a Bolognese Sauce with Cheese!
    I know someone who made cookies with just flour,sugar and water…. yuck!


  3. Reminds me of the first episode of the show Midnight Diner on Netflix. They asked for vegetable noodles (tan-men) without noodles.


  4. ‘Me’ is pretty critical !!!!
    Totally funny conversation. 🙂


  5. I’ve fucked up lasagna on a number of occasions (I once forgot the garlic) but at least it always had noodles. I now feel better about everything I’ve ever done in the kitchen.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Todd Duffey Uses Words on said:

    That is brilliant in its simplicity.

    It’s like my momma always told me, ‘You can’t argue with a three year old – their inexperience wins every time.”


  7. Hahahaha. That’s hilarious 😀
    I can really empathise with your friend but. Sometimes things just happen when your cooking. Like the time the eggs exploded, when I tryed to make boiled eggs.
    I still don’t have a clue why that happened. There was plenty of water in the pot. The eggs just randomly went bang, spreading bits of egg all over the cooker and wall. Leaving me and my flatmate shocked and confused.

    Liked by 1 person

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