In what is being hailed as the technological breakthrough of the century, a group of Finnish scientists have created a new breed of radioactive reindeer.
Note: The Finnish are often referred to as the technological juggernauts of the world. After all, they gave us Angry Birds.
“We are the technological juggernauts of the world,” one of the leading Finnish researchers, Johannes Korhonen, stated at a recent press conference.
It seems the Finnish have developed a new breed of radioactive reindeer they claim will revolutionize the world.
Here at idiotpruf I was able to secure an interview with Dr. Korhonen.
idiotpruf: So, why radioactive reindeer?
Dr. Korhonen: Frankly, we just got sick of inducing cancer in lab rats, I mean, we’ve absolutely done that to death. So we decided to move on to something bigger.
idiotpruf: That’s a pretty big jump from lab rats to reindeer.
Dr. Korhonen: It is. At first we tried it with badgers, but those things are freaking nuts. A bunch of them got loose, knocked over one of the researches, chewed his ears off, and ran away with them.
Dr. Korhonen: Then they came back and taunted him.
idiotpruf: That’s horrible.
Dr. Korhonen: Indeed. They’d already taken his ears–there was no need to say those horrible things about his mother.
idiotpruf: The badgers can talk?
Dr. Korhonen: Of course not.
idiotpruf: Then how did you know they were saying things about his mother?
Dr. Korhonen: It was in their body language.
idiotpruf: Okay? I’m just curious, why do you consider this to be an advancement that will revolutionize the world?
Dr. Korhonen: Are you serious? We have practically developed a cure for not being radioactive.
idiotpruf: Is not being radioactive a big problem?
Dr. Korhonen: Not anymore. Did you know that due to their glowing antlers, the incidents of reindeer being struck by motorists, have greatly decreased over the past year?
idiotpruf: But what about the fact that the incidents of Finnish motorists screaming, “what the hell is that?” and careening off the road have greatly increased over the past year?
Dr. Korhonen: One problem at a time.
The interview then ended abruptly when a pack of frenzied badgers chased Dr. Korhonen from the room. They seemed angry. One of them had an ear.