10 Things That Should Happen in the NFL but Probably Won’t
Gisele Bundchen announces split from Tom Brady, she claims his game balls aren’t the only things “under-inflated.”
The red challenge flag to be replaced with a confetti canon filled with angry bees.
The two-minute warning is now marked by the release of 200 frenzied honey badgers onto the field.
Every team’s official mascot is a monkey in a cowboy hat on a unicycle.
The ghost of Otto Graham starts at quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Even though his form is ethereal, he still gets sacked multiple times in a bitter defeat.
A new rule that stipulates the team losing at halftime must dress as rodeo clowns for the second half.
Jim Brown trades in his trademark Kufi cap for a beanie with a propeller.
Referees are replaced with blindfolded mimes. (The Patriots still get the majority of the calls.)
The Super Bowl halftime show: Pope Francis battles Justin Bieber in a knife fight to the death. (Neither one of them sings.)
The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl as a record cold snap grips Hell.