Illegal in 38 states–frowned upon in the rest.

10 Things That Should Happen in the NFL but Probably Won’t



Gisele Bundchen announces split from Tom Brady, she claims his game balls aren’t the only things “under-inflated.”


The red challenge flag to be replaced with a confetti canon filled with angry bees.

mike tomlin

“I wish I had a confetti canon full of angry bees.”


The two-minute warning is now marked by the release of 200 frenzied honey badgers onto the field.


Every team’s official mascot is a monkey in a cowboy hat on a unicycle.


The ghost of Otto Graham starts at quarterback for the Cleveland Browns. Even though his form is ethereal, he still gets sacked multiple times in a bitter defeat.


A new rule that stipulates the team losing at halftime must dress as rodeo clowns for the second half.


Jim Brown trades in his trademark Kufi cap for a beanie with a propeller.

Jim Brown

“Was that Otto Graham I just saw?”


Referees are replaced with blindfolded mimes. (The Patriots still get the majority of the calls.)


The Super Bowl halftime show: Pope Francis battles Justin Bieber in a knife fight to the death. (Neither one of them sings.)


The Buffalo Bills win the Super Bowl as a record cold snap grips Hell.

Bill win Super Bowl

“This is Jim Cantore reporting live from Hell.”


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17 thoughts on “10 Things That Should Happen in the NFL but Probably Won’t

  1. Could we have the refs who make egregiously horrible calls put in the confetti guns?


  2. longchaps2 on said:

    I’m putting my money on Pope Francis, he might be old but he looks tough. I think he can take ’em. By the way, what happened to the Girl Scout cookie selling idea. I thought that was a perfectly sound idea. I am a believer 🙂


  3. As usual, I have a hard time trying to pick my favorite out of this list. But the changing into clowns at halftime might be the winner!


  4. darkise.yvalinda.jean on said:

    This blog is hilarious! i love it !!!!!


  5. Hmm, now I’m afraid to comment. Seems like things are getting a little hairy here.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Donald Trump’s hair could battle Farrah Fawcett’s hair…who knows how that would turn out?


  7. Make it Donald Trump battling himself in a knife fight, and that’s a halftime I might just watch.

    Liked by 1 person

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