idiotprufs

Illegal in 38 states–frowned upon in the rest.

I Apologize for this Post in Advance

Crabman

The Crabman would never serve this.

A Tokyo-based eatery opened last month with the house specialty of “poo-flavored curry.”

Not poo-flavored as in Winnie the Pooh, because that would just be weird. They’re serving feces-flavored curry.

What the hell is going on?

To be fair, the dish doesn’t contain any actual feces, just natural ingredients like green tea, bitter gourd and cocoa powder that, when combined, looks and tastes similar to human defecation.

When asked how they know the curry tastes similar to human defecation, one of the waitstaff just hung his head and muttered that he was bitterly underpaid.

To enhance the illusion, the crap-flavored curry is served in a porcelain bowl meant to resemble a bedpan — yeah that’s it.

japanese curry

What the hell is going on?

Evidently the poo-flavored curry is the brainchild of executive chef Ken Shimizu, who designed the dish to remind people of his other line of work: as a male porn actor who has…wait for it…eaten feces in some of his films.

Seriously, what the hell is going on?

ken shimuzu

This is the man I want preparing my food. (Also, the least disturbing picture of him I could find.)

Note: I for one am astounded that no one has previously tried to combine fine dining with fetish-porn. The two go together like…

Note to the note: every joke I came up with for the previous line was unusable…horrifyingly unusable.

Unfortunately for Ken (How many different ways could this sentence end?) his restaurant’s own market research has determined 85 percent of people would never order the dish based on the description of the meal.

A quick question to the other 15 percent: What The Hell Is Going On?

Reportedly one customer couldn’t stomach the meal and vomited into his bowl, immediately giving Ken an idea for a new dish.

Final note: I made-up that last part, but you believed it didn’t you? Again: my apologies.

Pooh

Reportedly not on the menu.

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21 thoughts on “I Apologize for this Post in Advance

  1. It’s not often I’m left speechless, and being a Chef……..I’m really speechless! UGH!!!

    Like

  2. Maybe he’s just ahead of his time. Perhaps in the future they will look back and pity us for not having piss, crap, booger, earwax, and sweat-flavored food….

    Like

  3. HAHAHAHA! You can’t control the rest of the world pitching you fastballs that you get to hit out of the park with a post like this, so never apologize for posting about pathetic. It’s never wrong to write about it.

    Like

  4. Oh dear! To say people are weird is a major understatement. These days I’m compelled to just mutter, I know you can do it, but why would you even want to?!

    Like

  5. Oh my FLEAS!! ๐Ÿ™€ And they think eating mice and Bugs is weird!! *moron humans *

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  6. …because there wasn’t already enough in this world to make me say “WTF?!?!?”

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I thought this was a joke! And then I googled it and found an article about it on HuffPo. That’s it. I’m disconnecting from this world and crawling into a hole. Ick.

    Liked by 1 person

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