Top Ten Other Ways the New England Patriots Cheat
Patriots’ game ball, inflated slightly more than Tom Brady likes it.
#10
Robert Kraft offers a lifetime supply of razors to officials who ‘look the other way’ when they cover the Seahawks’ game balls with super slippery stuff.
#9
Rob Gronkowski is actually a cyborg sent back from the future to kill Sarah Conner.
#8
Tom Brady wears a piece; he’s actually bald a cue ball.
#7
They lace other team’s Gatorade with Viagra.
#6
The New England Patriots’ kicker’s balls are coated with flubber.
#5
Legarrette Blount never passes the joint to the other team.
(Technically this isn’t cheating, but it certainly isn’t polite.)
#4
Snipers.
#3
Bill Belichick had a witch doctor put an ‘interception’ curse on Eli Manning, to keep him out of the Super Bowl.
(It’s working.)
#2
They steal the other team’s playbook, and replace the plays with Venn Diagrams about ninjas.
#1
Tom Brady illegally deflates his game balls; he artificially inflates his jock strap.
addendum
When I said the New England Patriots’ kicker’s balls are coated with flubber, I did mean his testicles.
When Russell Wilson drops back to pass, he’ll be looking for the zombie.
idiotpruf 
Dang. If this was really how football was played I might like it a little better. Snipers? Hmmmm….
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I’m starting a petition to introduce snipers into football, fingers crossed.
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Send that petition right along to me for signatures, thank you very much.
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Ah, boys and their balls…
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We’re a little obsessed.
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Could deflated balls be yet another sign of erectile dysfunction?
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Squishiness is never a good thing.
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They tilt the stadium ever so slightly so that Patriots’ opponents always have to run uphill.
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They think of everything don’t they?
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