Help Me Pick My Next Post Topic
Wile E. and I are kindred spirits.
Several months ago I was having a dream.
In this dream my uncle was trying to chop my face off with an ax. He was chasing me through the woods and he seemed very determined in his efforts. He seemed to be enjoying himself a great deal. He was reminiscent of Jack Torrance from The Shining, but much more disheveled and maniacal. As ax wielding maniacs go–he was good at it.
Why would my uncle be chasing me through the woods with an ax? He has issues…and an ax.
Note: if my uncle were to chase me through the woods with an ax, it wouldn’t be the worst thing he’s done to me. He’s a miserable backstabbing rat-bastard of a human being, and I’m sugar-coating it.
Here’s Miserable Backstabbing Rat-Bastard.
Anyway, I awoke from the dream and had a brilliant idea for a blog post, it would be the single funniest blog post ever written.
I quickly jotted the idea down, lest I should forget, and went back to sleep.
The next morning I looked at what I had written: Bad Idea Fireman.
I had absolutely no clue what it meant. I had absolutely no clue what I was thinking when I wrote it down. I had nothing.
Was it a bad idea to become a fireman?
Was it a bad idea a fireman had?
Were firemen a bad idea in general? That seems unlikely unless I was alluding to the firemen in Ray Bradbury’s dystopic tale, Fahrenheit 451. A great book, but not really full of laughs.
It’ll come to me I thought.
It didn’t.
It still hasn’t months later, and I had forgotten about it until I stumbled upon it today in my drafts section.
Then I had a thought (it happens): my drafts section has become cluttered with half-written posts and neglected ideas; it’s time to change that.
Here’s a short list of some of the unfinished posts:
Why do Hillbillies Have Weird Faces?
This search term popped up on my stats page. It’s a compelling questioned that deserves an answer.
Why Sea-Monkeys are Better Than Your Cousins.
I’m not certain why this one wasn’t finished, it practically writes itself.
Don’t Say it to Your Boss.
I found a list of things not to say to your boss at a work relations website. The list was woefully inadequate; I could immediately think of a half dozen ill-advised things I’ve said to bosses, that weren’t on the list.
Where is Bigfoot and Why is He so Damned Hard to Find?
Answering this question would wipe out half of the programming on Animal Planet.
Bad Idea Fireman.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Vote for the post you want to see, or leave a comment, or do both.
idiotpruf 
Sorry to learn your uncle was so rotten to you. I suppose we all get those kinda folks, unfortunately.
As for your next post, you shouldn’t think about it so much really. It’s not that serious…I hope not. I know you didn’t ask but I usually don’t blog ’til I have it figured out. But if you insist, you could talk about your uncle and his beginnings. Write a short story about him. It’s the best revenge if you can maintain objectivity.
LikeLike
Where did you get the impression I think about anything too much?
LikeLike
I know where Big Foot is. That’s too easy. Now the inner workings of that brain of yours in a half fugue state…Bad Idea Fireman…oh YEAH. Bring it.
LikeLike
Do you mean, Bigfoot, the monster truck?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Are you implying I might be a red neck? Don’t make me throw a beer bottle at you.
LikeLike
I’m implying you don’t really know where Bigfoot is.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You haven’t seen pictures of our family.
LikeLike
I get it now.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You should use all of the words from the titles and content to create a single post. Something along the lines of “Why Sea Monkey Firemen are so Hard to Find.” or “Why are Hard Hillbillies a Bad Idea to your Cousins?”… like you said, it kind of writes itself.
LikeLiked by 3 people
i had continual dreams of nuclear bombings on three quarters of the globe, NOT KIDDING!!! Then through the day i came across things that were like flshbacks of what veterans experiance, yet I’ve never been in war. I keep thinking about it, that and another dream that keeps haunting me that was greater of super storms so massive that the storms destroyed nine tenths of the globe, and it scared that conscious state out of me as if I were numb, Then I look at the meterologists point of views and that there had been some sincerely large and unique storms that had taken place the past number of years, i think i just want to find the other miss annabell students and see what we can do. How do you explain something like that to the human race and is Earth as we know it at a sever weather threat problem of rain or hurricanes or tornado or typhoos ect? Sure had me a believerof what Iahd seem in dreams and then seeing things close to that during that day of like reminders of those dreams is bewildering and really thought provoking to say the least. Sincerely, patrick
LikeLike
Holy crap.
LikeLike
Take… Your… Meds…
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like Mike’s idea. Why limit yourself?
LikeLike
My limits were imposed by DNA.
LikeLike
That would be anarchy.
LikeLike
Cats and Dogs living together….
LikeLike
My Dad was a fireman for a while before I was born. He was “moonlighting,” working a second job which was forbidden. He fell off a ladder and broke his back. “Bad idea, Fireman.” I didn’t make this up. In fact, I think I was conceived during his recovery. So maybe it wasn’t’t such a bad idea after all.
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s probably not what I was thinking.
LikeLike
That’s hilarious! “Bad Idea Fireman” almost sounds like a meme. Maybe he runs back into buildings to save stuffed animals or cuts off someone’s arm if it’s on fire. Side note: I voted for the sea monkey post because I’m truly interested in what exactly makes them better than cousins. It sounds fascinating and you should definitely elaborate. That title would arouse anyone’s curiosity
LikeLike
Bad Idea Fireman should be a meme. As far as Sea-Monkeys being better than cousins; it may just be my cousins.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My cousins suck too. But I don’t know much about sea-monkeys so it could go either way lol
LikeLike
Mine too!, especially when we were little.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I like the Fireman idea….. Maybe he gets stuck in a tree and has to be rescued by a cigar smoking kat with cattitude and a short ladder…. Just sayin…šø
LikeLiked by 1 person
So many possibilities with the Bad Idea Fireman post.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I can’t wait! Mol!šø
LikeLike
Maybe it was note to yourself that it would be a bad idea to write a post about a fireman. Not that I’m trying to muddy the waters or anything.
LikeLike
I love Muddy Waters, or any of the great Blues musicians.
LikeLiked by 2 people
Hmm, I’m torn between Why do Hillbillies Have Weird Faces? and Why Sea-Monkeys are Better Than Your Cousins. I think you’ll have to cover them both. It really wouldn’t be fair to your readers if you didn’t.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’d like to know why hillbillies have weird faces.
LikeLike
I’m sure you’ll think of something. Accuracy is optional.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I’m thinking that there are two reasons for that: moonshine and inbreeding.
LikeLike
I think one leads to the other.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It leads, but you know, it does not really matter, what we vote for as first – the other topics will just be covered in later posts, I am sure …
LikeLike
Are you trying to ruin everybody’s fun? You’re probably right, but still.
LikeLike
Grumpy cat is my hero, sue me š
LikeLike
You’ll be hearing from my lawyer.
LikeLike
Is he smart, good looking and single? Otherwise I’m not interested …
LikeLike
She’s adorable.
LikeLike
Keep her for yourself, then.
LikeLike
“Don’t say it to your boss” PLEASE.
LikeLike
We’ll see how vote turns out. There will be no ballot stuffing shenanigans, this isn’t Chicago.
LikeLiked by 1 person