Update: Mayoral Edicts of Mortal Consequence and Garden Gnomes
It’s been a year since I first reported, Guilio Cesare Fava, the mayor of a Falciano Del Massico, ordered the residents of the small town in southern Italy not to die. He stated that there was no room in the cemetery, therefore all residents were ordered by official edict, to refrain from entering the afterlife until the proper permits could be obtained and provisions made for a new resting place.
He also reportedly said, “death is depressing and icky and we’ll have none of it around here.”
Note: He said it in Italian with a really cool Italian accent.
With the combination of red tape, the propensity for governmental committees to move forward with the pace of an Icelandic glacier and the confusion manifested by the fact that nearly every member of Falciano Del Massico’s town council is named Luigi, the situation has shown little movement. Compounded with the fact that some of the residents of Falciano Del Massico have taken it upon themselves to violate the mayors edict, things have grown even more dire.
“It’s just so frustrating,” Guilio said. “Just the other day, I was standing in line at the market and the guy in front of me just dropped dead…the gall of it.”
Violators of the mayors edict have been placed into wooden boxes and buried in the ground. The punishment seems harsh, but law and order must be maintained.
Note: Garden gnomes are still evil creatures of the night that need to be smashed with a shovel. Preferably at night when your neighbor is asleep.