Read by four out five drunken monkeys–written by the fifth.

Archive for the day “June 1, 2012”

Everything That Makes Bulls Angry.

The offending couple.
image source: KDKA-TV

Today traffic at the intersection of routes 28 and 85 in Rayburn Township, Pennsylvania, was shut down by a pair of cows having amorous relations. According Trooper John Corna, troopers “kept trying to shoo them off the highway, but that just got the bull mad and it started to escalate.”

Of course it made him mad, wouldn’t it make you mad.

In a previous post, Rodeo Clowns, Boy Bands and a Few Things That Bulls Hate, I detailed a few things that bulls hate. I may have left that list a tad incomplete.

So in the interest of completion-pun intended-everything that makes bulls angry:

  • Bull-riders.
  • Rodeo clowns.
  • Circus clowns.
  • Circus Peanuts. (the candy, not the legume) Bulls hate anything loaded with saturated fat and preservatives.
  • Circus peanuts the legume. Bulls hate anything that is too salty.
  • Peanuts the comic strip.(Sorry that’s a mistake. Bulls love Peanuts the comic strip. Who doesn’t?)
  • Ronald McDonald. Not only is he a clown but he also sells millions of hamburgers, double whammy.
  • Any grown man that wears too much make-up and brightly colored striped socks.
  • Mimes. The only people that don’t hate mimes are other mimes; even then they only tolerate each other.
  • Boy-bands.
  • Boy-bands that wear clown make-up.
  • Boy-bands that mime.
  • Obnoxious motorists who honk their horns at you while you’re trying to have an intimate moment with your lady friend.
  • Motorists who can’t seem to figure out how a 4-way stop works, even with their “superior” human brains. (Sorry, this one is residue from my previous post.)
  • State troopers who keep yelling “shoo” at you while you’re trying to have an intimate moment with your lady friend.
  • Anyone who yells “shoo” at you while you’re trying to have an intimate moment with your lady friend.
  • The word shoo.
  • Shoes.
  • Homophones.
  • Branding irons.
  • People with branding irons.
  • People who make branding irons.
  • Bulls hate pretty much everything about branding irons.
  • And finally: idiots who try to milk them.

If I have left anything off the list, you can let me know in the comments section. It’s really irritating when you can’t finish something, just ask the bull.

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