People in this country will forgive a lot of things, maybe even most things. But there is one thing people in this country find unforgivable. One thing that is so contemptuous, that is so vile, that it will send normally docile people into a fitful rage. It will make the most even-tempered among us see red and the most mild-mannered spit blood. What is that one thing? People who screw up traffic.
This thought occurred to me as I was reading a post titled The 4-Way Stop by Twisted Wit. The 4-way stop is essentially the Bermuda Triangle of the driving world. As you approach one, the gauges in your vehicle begin to malfunction, you become disoriented and a form of temporary stupidity seems to set in. There should be a warning sign before every 4-way stop that reads: 4-way stop ahead: prepare for collision with idiot. Amelia Earhart didn’t disappear over the Bermuda Triangle; she’s at a 4-way stop outside of Pittsburgh shaking her fist at some idiot who screwed up traffic.
Other motorists don’t care why you’re screwing up traffic, just that you are screwing up traffic. You could be slumped over your steering wheel with an arrow in one of your eyes and most compassionate thing you’re gonna hear from another motorist is: “Hey, use your good eye idiot.”
Did you know that without transmission fluid, a car is less of an automobile and more of a giant metal traffic clogger? I was driving down the road one day when suddenly my transmission fluid decided that it needed to be somewhere else. My car quickly lost power as billows of black smoke poured from the exhaust.
The other motorists on the road had no compassion for my plight in fact some of them were downright hostile. The following conversation was typical of the reaction I encountered:
Motorist: Hey moron, what do you think you’re doing?
Me: I think my transmission fluid is leaking onto my exhaust.
Motorist: Of course it is you moron, you’re covering the road with smoke.
Me: Sorry about that, I’m getting the car off the road as quickly as I can.
Motorist: I hope so, you’re screwing up traffic….so, I’ll see you Sunday for dinner?
Me: Yes Grandma.
Do you think that people hate O.J. Simpson because he got away with murder? No. It’s because when the police came to get him, he got in that Ford Bronco, got on the California highway on a Friday afternoon and screwed up traffic.